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Early preparation tips for this year’s wedding speech

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Some people don’t think about writing their Groom, Best Man or Father-of-the-Bride speech until a few weeks, or even days, before the big event. I know – because many of them call me in a last minute panic.

But I would never knock the luxury of giving yourself ample preparation time to write and rehearse your speech. It’s a bit like Usain Bolt’s winter training. It will enable you to maximise the chances of hitting the ground running on the day itself.

Here are some of the things you can start to think about and work on in those quiet months:

1)     Research stories. This may involve contacting the bridesmaids for anecdotes about the bride, or parents for childhood memories about the groom. This type of research can take longer than you think. People (particularly parents) don’t want to be rushed when asked for this sort of information, so it is worth getting your email and phone requests in now.

2)     Liaise with the other speakers: With any wedding speech there is a risk of covering ground that will be repeated in the other speeches. I would strongly recommend that however original you think your speech may be, you have a quick chat with the other speakers to work out who will thank who, and which areas you will each be covering to ensure there is no awkward overlap on the day itself.

3)     Check out the venue: You might want to find out where you will be standing.  Will there be a microphone?  Will you have a lectern?  This information will all come in useful when you start writing and practising.

4)     Create a master document: This can be used for collecting all your thoughts along with everyone else’s. Even if it doesn’t seem so at the time, this process can end up being extremely useful in creating an overview, structure and theme when it comes to writing the speech itself. At this stage don’t worry about what’s interesting, what’s funny, or what’s off limits. Put everything down!

5)     Keep an ear out: Particularly for quirks, quotes and snippets of potentially relevant information and jot them down in your master document.

6)     Don’t just start writing: Put a structure in place first.  Plan how the speech is going to flow, and what your key message and theme will be.  That way the writing becomes much easier.

7)     Call now! If you’re thinking of using a speech writer, then now is a good time to call. You’re likely to get more personal attention from me now than in those busy wedding season months, and you’ll be giving yourself a good month or two to rehearse your speech once you’re happy with it. Good preparation can make the difference between a good speech and a great one.

Some of the above may seem obvious, but the worst speeches are written in a rush. A speech is nothing without content or context.  And they are best achieved through careful planning. Be aware though that however prepared you are, it is important you adapt your speech if something topical crops up nearer the time (e.g. Volcanoes in Iceland, World Cup results). If anything it will make your well planned speech look off the cuff and relevant, ensuring more respect and praise from your audience.

Good luck!

Very best wishes

Lawrence

020 8245 8999 | 07970 046 230

Twelve Speech Tips for Christmas

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Great Speech Writing HQ is sadly bereft of Lords a Leaping and French Hens this year.  There’s not even a pear tree in sight.  So we thought it might be best to stick to our strengths and offer twelve wedding speech tips for those of you who plan to spend the festive season drafting something special for 2013:

  1. Prepare like you never have before. This may sound obvious but too many people think they can create the speech of their life 24 hours before the big day.
  2. Do some research. Don’t just rely on your own material. Contact friends and family who have known the person at different stages of their lives to gather different perspectives and stories.
  3. Keep it relevant. There is nothing worse for the majority of the guests than a best man’s speech focusing exclusively on the Stag do. Try to include something for everyone.
  4. Get the balance right between sincerity and humour. Try to map out a framework for your speech that has a good combination of the two. An over-sentimental speech can be dull.  But a stand-up comedy routine can miss the point entirely.
  5. Pick a theme. Anecdotes and observations are key elements of many speeches, but they don’t always link together naturally. Choosing a theme that ties everything together can help it flow and an original and amusing theme is often the difference between a decent speech and a great one.
  6. Consult others. Your biggest risk is covering ground that has already been mentioned in the other speeches. I would strongly recommend that however original you think your speech may be, you have a quick chat with the other speakers to ensure there is no uncomfortable overlap.
  7. Avoid rambling and keep it short. There is no ‘perfect’ shape or style for a speech.  But the key is brevity.  Stay away from long paragraphs in favour of short, punchy, deliverable sentences. And don’t let your speech drag on beyond 10 minutes (approximately 1000 words).
  8. It’s not all about you! It’s tempting to focus your speech on your own relationship with the person you’re speaking about. But if you labour the point too heavily, it can start to sound like narcissism and be very boring for everyone else.
  9. Practise, practise, practise! Get to know your speech so well that you only need to glance at your notes to remember what comes next.
  10. Stay sober. This is not to say you can’t have a drink to take the edge off your nerves. But to give a good speech you need to be sharp and clear–headed which means staying clear of the boozing until after you’ve sat down.
  11. Check out the venue: Find out where you’ll be standing, whether there will be a microphone, and if there will be somewhere to rest your notes.  This will avoid nasty surprises that might keep you awake the night before.
  12. Take it slowly: When your big moment comes, speak slowly and pause between sentences. Your audience need time to digest the story before they get the punchline. So give them time to get it.

From all of us at Great Speech Writing, have a very merry Christmas, and a successful speech giving year ahead!  And just in case you need reminding (and you really want to make time for that sixth viewing of Love Actually) then call us at any time and we’ll write it for you!

Lawrence and team

GREAT SPEECH WRITING

020 8245 8999

Guarantee a happy daughter: FoB speech

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While you read on, please feel to call us at any stage to discuss how we can help write or edit your speech for you!  Prices are set out here.

How to guarantee a happy daughter at the end of your Father-of-the Bride speech

So your daughter is about to flee the nest. The date is set and the venue is booked. You’ve been tapped for a hefty contribution towards the planning of the day. You’re keeping lips sealed about the cost of roses versus peonies, Champagne versus Prosecco, starters versus canapés, the necessities of wedding favours, embossed invitations and petals strewn on tables. You really couldn’t be more supportive of your daughter’s choice of husband and you’ve been charming to her new in-laws. You really are the perfect Father-of-the-Bride. But are you? Have you given enough thought to your most important responsibility? The Speech.

It is the speech that will be remembered when the food, flowers and invitations are forgotten. So it’s essential you get it right. This is (hopefully!) your one opportunity to tell your daughter and others just how proud you are of her. Without coming across as too gushing, smug or sentimental. Here are some tips to achieve the right balance:

  1. Don’t turn your speech into a job application or a CV. Yes it’s fine to mention some of your daughter’s achievements, but weave these around the speech rather than listing facts and figures, grades and graduations in a chronological order.
  2. Minimise the gush: Father-of-the-Bride speeches have a reputation for being a bit sentimental. That’s ok up to a point. But too much and it starts to sound sycophantic and dull. It’s fine to tell the guests how proud you are of her, but try to pepper the gush with some lighter teasing to balance it up.
  3. Ask around: Ask  her friends for stories from school, college or work, your other children for their version of events from the early years, her fiancé about his first impressions of her and your wife for any memorable stories, to get a good, mixed content. 
  4. Consult the other speakers: Your biggest risk is covering ground that will be repeated later on in the other speeches. I would strongly recommend that however original you think your speech may be, you have a quick chat with the Groom and Best Man to ensure there is no frustrating overlap.
  5. Be nice to her new family: This is not the time to offend your daughter’s in-laws! If you’re mentioning your own family, it would be courteous to mention how welcoming the Groom’s family have been to your daughter and your extended family.  This is also the time to thank them for any contribution they’ve made to the wedding.
  6. Peter who?: Although your primary purpose is to talk about your daughter, don’t make the mistake of forgetting to mention your new son-in-law. Love him or loathe him, half the guests are there for him and they’ll be wanting to know how happy you are for them both.
  7. Keep it short: Yours is the first speech so don’t let it drag on too long. Make sure it’s no more than 10 minutes (timed when speaking slowly) which on paper is about 1,000 words.
  8. It’s not all about you: It may be tempting to focus your speech  solely on your own relationship with your daughter, or indeed your own marriage – reminiscing back to your own wedding. But don’t be too self-centred. This is not your chance to boast about your own relationships!

Factoring in the above tips should help you create a cracking speech and ensure you have a proud and happy daughter at the end of it. For more detailed help and advice contact me any time on 0208 245 8999 or at lawrence@greatspeechwriting.co.uk

Lawrence

Why NOT to get help with your speech

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12 reasons for NOT getting a professional speech writer to help write your wedding speech:

  1. You are absolutely certain that your version won’t be littered with cut-and-paste jokes and phrases from the internet
  2. You have mastered the knack of writing in short punchy sound-bites with natural pauses for breath in the right places
  3. You are able to thread a number of themes, stories and ideas into a coherent, seamless script
  4. You have a natural feel for how to create the right balance between humour and sincerity in a speech
  5. You have lots of spare time to craft a number of drafts of a speech until you are certain that not one word is wasted
  6. You understand the best ways to weave the mundane lists of wedding-day ‘thank yous’ into the speech so no one quite realises how many people you have mentioned
  7. You have the knack of developing your speech around a theme to hold it together
  8. You instinctively know how certain words and phrases just don’t work when spoken out loud
  9. You are able to sum up long stories and complicated relationships in a small and interesting couple of phrases
  10. You can read through the speech you have written and be certain that it is entirely original and relevant to the audience on the day
  11. You are certain that when you stand up you won’t wish you’d got some help
  12. You are certain that when you sit down again you won’t wish you’d got some help

If you can say ‘yes’ to that lot then PLEASE don’t ask me to write your speech.  In fact, please do me a favour and give me a call to ask for work.

But if by any remote chance you can’t, please feel free to call me on 020 8245 8999 to discuss how I might be able to help you create the speech of your life!

Best wishes

Lawrence

Who to thank in your wedding speech

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It is no secret that every speaker at a wedding will have people to thank.  And I am asked regularly to suggest who should be thanked, by whom, and how best to word them.

The biggest issue in many cases is ‘listing’.  The thanks can be endless, suffocating the speech and bearing the wrong sort of comparisons with the worst Oscar acceptances.

The best speeches weave the necessary ‘thanking’ around their more creative elements so the audience hardly realise you’re running through a list at all. Here’s a quick summary of the key ‘thanks’ that should be included if yours is a standard wedding with a relatively orthodox set of speeches.

The Father of the Bride Speech

1. The guests – particularly those who’ve travelled a long way 
2. Your wife – for organising the day/ bringing up your daughter/ putting up with you!
3. You may also want to mention your other children, the vicar or equivalent and any friends who have helped with the organisation of the day

The Groom Speech

1. The Father of the Bride for his speech (and kind words about you if appropriate)
2. The guests (ensuring it ties in with what your father-in-law has said)
3. Your new-in-laws for producing your wife!
4. Your Bride – for saying yes!
5. Your own family
6. Any elderly or ‘special’ guests
7. The Best Man and Ushers
8. The Bridesmaids

Your list may overlap with the Father of the Bride, so it is worth trying to share them between you.  You may also want to mention guests who can’t be there and thank anyone from the wedding planner to the flower arranger (although I suggest that you restrict your thanks to volunteers rather than paid professionals – including your speech writer!)

The Best Man Speech

  1. Your hosts
  2. The Groom (for asking you to be his best man/for being a good mate)

This list is short and sweet. Yours is the speech with most room for creativity and fun and less need for thanks.  Your role is to provide amusement rather than sincerity.  However, it is still worth checking with the Groom that he doesn’t want you to take any of them off his plate.  This can be particularly useful if there is a thank you that will tip him over the edge!That’s the high level summary.  Please don’t assume anything and always check with the other speakers that you are not going to cover the same ground.  Good luck, and please feel free to call me at any time if you’d like some help turning your ‘tick list’ of thank yous into something that resembles an entertaining speech rather than a school register.

Lawrence

Wedding Speech Etiquette

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I’m asked regularly:

a) who speaks when at a wedding; and
b) who needs to say what in their wedding speech?

As you’ll read elsewhere on the site, I suggest planning your speech around the ‘must haves’ and the ‘might haves’.  The list below focuses solely on the ‘must haves’.
Many wedding speeches fall foul of ‘listing’, where you subject the audience to a never-ending barrage of sincere thankyous.  The best speeches weave these ‘must haves’ around their more creative elements and so you hardly realise that they are running through a list at all.
Here’s a quick reminder of the things that you will probably need to include if it’s a standard wedding with an orthodox set of speeches.

The Father of the Bride Speech

(creative input focuses mainly on the Bride and her new husband)
1. Welcome the guests
2. Welcome your new family
3. Mention your wife
4. Mention guests who cannot be there
5. Toast the Bride and Groom
You may also want to mention your other children, the vicar or equivalent, any friends who have helped with the organisation (including the flowers) and people who have travelled a long way.

The Groom Speech

(creative input focuses mainly on the Bride)
1. Thank the Father of the Bride
2. Thank the guests
3. Mention the new-in-laws
4. Mention your own family
5. Mention any particularly elderly or ‘special’ guests
6. Thank the Best Man and ushers
7. Toast the Bridesmaids
Your thankyous may overlap with the Father of the Bride and so it is worth trying to share them between you.  You may also want to mention guests who can’t be there and thank anyone from the wedding planner to the flower arranger (although I suggest that you restrict your thankyous to volunteers)

The Best Man Speech

(creative input focuses mainly on the Groom)
1. Read any telegrams
2. Respond to toast on behalf of bridesmaids
3. Thank your hosts
4. Toast the Bride and Groom
This list is short and sweet and yours is the speech with most room for creativity and fun.  However, it is still worth checking with the groom that he doesn’t want you to take any of the ‘must haves’ off his plate.

That’s the high level summary.  Please don’t assume anything and always check with the others that you are not going to cover the same ground.  Good luck, and please feel free to call me at any time if you’d like more detailed advice or help putting it all together.

Only relevant to wedding speeches

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Are you preparing a wedding speech and wondering what to say?

I have developed three questionnaires to help the traditional speakers prepare the content that they might want to weave into their speech.  My clients often use one of these to prepare for our first meeting.

I’m afraid that they are not templates for creating your speech, simply a way of pulling together all the information that may become useful.

So if you have had trouble getting through to me on the phone and want to get going, then please start here:

Best Man Speech Questionnaire

Father of the Bride Speech Questionnaire

Groom Speech Questionnaire

National Wedding Show at Olympia, October 2009

If you happen to be visiting the show,  I will be there for all three days giving free speech-related advice to anyone who asks!  If you read this beforehand, please drop me an email and we can arrange a specific time to meet.