Early preparation tips for this year’s wedding speech

Some people don’t think about writing their Groom, Best Man or Father-of-the-Bride speech until a few weeks, or even days, before the big event. I know – because many of them call me in a last minute panic.

But I would never knock the luxury of giving yourself ample preparation time to write and rehearse your speech. It’s a bit like Usain Bolt’s winter training. It will enable you to maximise the chances of hitting the ground running on the day itself.

Here are some of the things you can start to think about and work on in those quiet months:

1)     Research stories. This may involve contacting the bridesmaids for anecdotes about the bride, or parents for childhood memories about the groom. This type of research can take longer than you think. People (particularly parents) don’t want to be rushed when asked for this sort of information, so it is worth getting your email and phone requests in now.

2)     Liaise with the other speakers: With any wedding speech there is a risk of covering ground that will be repeated in the other speeches. I would strongly recommend that however original you think your speech may be, you have a quick chat with the other speakers to work out who will thank who, and which areas you will each be covering to ensure there is no awkward overlap on the day itself.

3)     Check out the venue: You might want to find out where you will be standing.  Will there be a microphone?  Will you have a lectern?  This information will all come in useful when you start writing and practising.

4)     Create a master document: This can be used for collecting all your thoughts along with everyone else’s. Even if it doesn’t seem so at the time, this process can end up being extremely useful in creating an overview, structure and theme when it comes to writing the speech itself. At this stage don’t worry about what’s interesting, what’s funny, or what’s off limits. Put everything down!

5)     Keep an ear out: Particularly for quirks, quotes and snippets of potentially relevant information and jot them down in your master document.

6)     Don’t just start writing: Put a structure in place first.  Plan how the speech is going to flow, and what your key message and theme will be.  That way the writing becomes much easier.

7)     Call now! If you’re thinking of using a speech writer, then now is a good time to call. You’re likely to get more personal attention from me now than in those busy wedding season months, and you’ll be giving yourself a good month or two to rehearse your speech once you’re happy with it. Good preparation can make the difference between a good speech and a great one.

Some of the above may seem obvious, but the worst speeches are written in a rush. A speech is nothing without content or context.  And they are best achieved through careful planning. Be aware though that however prepared you are, it is important you adapt your speech if something topical crops up nearer the time (e.g. Volcanoes in Iceland, World Cup results). If anything it will make your well planned speech look off the cuff and relevant, ensuring more respect and praise from your audience.

Good luck!

Very best wishes

Lawrence

020 8245 8999 | 07970 046 230

Twelve Speech Tips for Christmas

Great Speech Writing HQ is sadly bereft of Lords a Leaping and French Hens this year.  There’s not even a pear tree in sight.  So we thought it might be best to stick to our strengths and offer twelve wedding speech tips for those of you who plan to spend the festive season drafting something special for 2013:

  1. Prepare like you never have before. This may sound obvious but too many people think they can create the speech of their life 24 hours before the big day.
  2. Do some research. Don’t just rely on your own material. Contact friends and family who have known the person at different stages of their lives to gather different perspectives and stories.
  3. Keep it relevant. There is nothing worse for the majority of the guests than a best man’s speech focusing exclusively on the Stag do. Try to include something for everyone.
  4. Get the balance right between sincerity and humour. Try to map out a framework for your speech that has a good combination of the two. An over-sentimental speech can be dull.  But a stand-up comedy routine can miss the point entirely.
  5. Pick a theme. Anecdotes and observations are key elements of many speeches, but they don’t always link together naturally. Choosing a theme that ties everything together can help it flow and an original and amusing theme is often the difference between a decent speech and a great one.
  6. Consult others. Your biggest risk is covering ground that has already been mentioned in the other speeches. I would strongly recommend that however original you think your speech may be, you have a quick chat with the other speakers to ensure there is no uncomfortable overlap.
  7. Avoid rambling and keep it short. There is no ‘perfect’ shape or style for a speech.  But the key is brevity.  Stay away from long paragraphs in favour of short, punchy, deliverable sentences. And don’t let your speech drag on beyond 10 minutes (approximately 1000 words).
  8. It’s not all about you! It’s tempting to focus your speech on your own relationship with the person you’re speaking about. But if you labour the point too heavily, it can start to sound like narcissism and be very boring for everyone else.
  9. Practise, practise, practise! Get to know your speech so well that you only need to glance at your notes to remember what comes next.
  10. Stay sober. This is not to say you can’t have a drink to take the edge off your nerves. But to give a good speech you need to be sharp and clear–headed which means staying clear of the boozing until after you’ve sat down.
  11. Check out the venue: Find out where you’ll be standing, whether there will be a microphone, and if there will be somewhere to rest your notes.  This will avoid nasty surprises that might keep you awake the night before.
  12. Take it slowly: When your big moment comes, speak slowly and pause between sentences. Your audience need time to digest the story before they get the punchline. So give them time to get it.

From all of us at Great Speech Writing, have a very merry Christmas, and a successful speech giving year ahead!  And just in case you need reminding (and you really want to make time for that sixth viewing of Love Actually) then call us at any time and we’ll write it for you!

Lawrence and team

GREAT SPEECH WRITING

020 8245 8999

Your Medal Winning Wedding Speech

The Olympics are almost here. You may be losing sleep about Paula Radcliff’s foot  or Dwain Chambers’ urine sample, but there are others with more pressing issues to address.

Because irrespective of the athletics, the wedding season continues, with a daunting set of hurdles for those giving speeches.

If that group includes you, you’ll want to be remembered for giving the performance of your life; a speech that combines Mark Cavendish’s grit, Jessica Ennis’ style and Tom Daly’s magic.

Great Speech Writing has come up with some tips on how to put yourself in medal contention.

To get onto the podium – even if only to win bronze, you need to:

  • Prepare. This may sound obvious but too many people think they can create the speech of their life 24 hours before the big day. However, as with most things in life, there’s no substitute for proper preparation. This means thinking about what you want to say, gathering information and writing a number of drafts in advance.
  • Keep it relevant. There is nothing worse for the majority of the guests than a best man’s speech focusing exclusively on the Stag’s drinking exploits in Amsterdam dressed as Spiderman or a Father-of-the-Bride gushing about his daughter without mentioning the Groom or his side of the wedding party.  Think about your audience before you put pen to paper.
  • Practise. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect. Rehearse your speech out loud over and over again, reading very slowly and emphasising key words. You want to know your speech so well that you only need to glance at your notes to remember what comes next.
  • Keep it short. I recommend a 8-10 minute speaking length for any wedding speech. Too many go way beyond this, creating a bored and restless audience.
  • Stay sober. This is not to say you can’t have a drink to take the edge off your nerves. But to give a good speech you need to be sharp and clear–headed which means staying clear of the boozing until after you’ve sat down.
  • Don’t focus on ‘me’. It’s tempting to focus your speech on your own relationship with the person you’re speaking about. But if you labour the point too heavily, it can start to sound like narcissism and be very boring for everyone else.

To take home Silver, you’ll also need to:

  • Do some digging. Don’t just rely on your own material. Contact friends and family who have known the person at different stages of their lives to gather unusual insights and anecdotes.
  • Get the balance right between sincerity and humour. Try to map out a framework for your speech that has a good combination of the two. An over-sentimental speech can be dull.  But a stand-up comedy routine can miss the point entirely.
  • Avoid rambling. There is no ‘perfect’ shape or style for a speech.  But the key is brevity.  Stay away from long paragraphs in favour of short, punchy, deliverable sentences.
  • Use language accessible to everyone. If people don’t understand your joke, they won’t find it funny. So don’t use a long word when a short one will do. Don’t use a clever pun if many of the guests have travelled from overseas. And don’t use slang that only a small group of your friends will understand.

But to find yourself holding back the tears as the first chords of the National Anthem strike up, you should:

  • Pick a theme. Anecdotes and observations are key elements of many speeches, but they don’t always link together naturally. Choosing a theme that ties everything together can help it flow and an original and amusing theme is often the difference between a decent speech and a great one.
  • Consult the other speakers. Your biggest risk is covering ground that has already been mentioned in the other speeches. I would strongly recommend that however original you think your speech may be, you have a quick chat with the other speakers to ensure there is no frustrating overlap.
  • Check out the location. Find out where you’ll be standing, whether there will be a microphone, and if there will be somewhere to rest your notes. This will avoid nasty surprises that might keep you awake the night before.
  • Take it slowly: When your big moment comes, speak slowly and pause between sentences. Your audience need time to digest the story before they get the punchline. So give them time to get it.
  • Call Lawrence on 0208 245 8999.  Whether it’s editing it, polishing it or writing your speech from scratch, he’ll can guarantee a gold medal speech that will be remembered for all the right reasons.

 

 

Guarantee applause: Groom Speech

While you read on, please feel to call us at any stage to discuss how we can help write or edit your speech for you!  Prices are set out here.

The wedding ‘season’ has arrived. If you’re a Groom, you may already be worrying about what to say in your speech – and how to minimise your chances of a ‘tumbleweed’ moment.  As ever, we’re quick to point out that every wedding and every Groom require a different approach, but there are some quick wins to guarantee positive feedback from your guests, whether it’s sighs, laughs or rapturous applause!

Early on, drop in the olden but golden “My wife and I…..”. Loathed as I am to ever suggest a re-cycled line, this one is part of the wedding tradition fabric. It doesn’t matter how many times guests have heard it before, it will always receive a warm cheer and set your nerves at rest.

Include a brief but heartfelt thanks to the hosts (assuming it isn’t you!). If it’s your in-laws you’ll earn brownie points from all sides.

Add a brief mention of those who couldn’t be with you on the day. It allows for a sentimental moment to reflect on and remember loved ones not there. But don’t dwell too long on this – it is a day of celebration after all.

Strike the right balance between talking about how wonderful your new wife is against the more self-deprecating effect she’s had on you and how you’ve changed for the better as a result. Too much slush can leave your audience wilting.

Don’t forget to mention your own parents.  And not just for their contribution to the wedding. Thank them for those things you always took for granted: lifts to school when you were ten, freezing afternoons on the side of a muddy sports field watching you make a fool of yourself, or for helping you learn to drive; anything that demonstrates the love and support they have provided for so long.  Unless they haven’t of course.

Don’t include too much about the Best Man. In-jokes on this front are strictly discouraged.

Include a heartfelt toast to the Bridesmaids. These are quite likely your Bride’s best friends so mention how beautiful they are and what supportive mates they’ve been to your new wife. The guests will love it as much as they will.

The balance between sincerity and humour in the speech is a difficult one for the Groom. It doesn’t provide as much opportunity for raucous laughter as the Best Man’s speech. And nor should it.

Ultimately it is a chance to celebrate your love for your new wife, whilst thanking her and others for helping you reach this point in your life. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t plenty of excuses for getting the guests to laugh, clap and generally feel good through your speech. Hopefully I’ve given you some tips for achieving this. But if you have any concerns about creating your own speech, I would be delighted to chat, edit your draft or even write it for you.
Good luck and best wishes
Lawrence

Why NOT to get help with your speech

12 reasons for NOT getting a professional speech writer to help write your wedding speech:

  1. You are absolutely certain that your version won’t be littered with cut-and-paste jokes and phrases from the internet
  2. You have mastered the knack of writing in short punchy sound-bites with natural pauses for breath in the right places
  3. You are able to thread a number of themes, stories and ideas into a coherent, seamless script
  4. You have a natural feel for how to create the right balance between humour and sincerity in a speech
  5. You have lots of spare time to craft a number of drafts of a speech until you are certain that not one word is wasted
  6. You understand the best ways to weave the mundane lists of wedding-day ‘thank yous’ into the speech so no one quite realises how many people you have mentioned
  7. You have the knack of developing your speech around a theme to hold it together
  8. You instinctively know how certain words and phrases just don’t work when spoken out loud
  9. You are able to sum up long stories and complicated relationships in a small and interesting couple of phrases
  10. You can read through the speech you have written and be certain that it is entirely original and relevant to the audience on the day
  11. You are certain that when you stand up you won’t wish you’d got some help
  12. You are certain that when you sit down again you won’t wish you’d got some help

If you can say ‘yes’ to that lot then PLEASE don’t ask me to write your speech.  In fact, please do me a favour and give me a call to ask for work.

But if by any remote chance you can’t, please feel free to call me on 020 8245 8999 to discuss how I might be able to help you create the speech of your life!

Best wishes

Lawrence

How to write a great speech: BREVITY

Having read my previous articles, you should now have a relevant and original message in mind and are ready to put pen to paper.

Things are looking good, but the pitfalls aren’t all out the way.

Because there is nothing worse than a speaker who takes two minutes to introduce himself and then uses long, winding sentences like this one to make a point that could have been made much more clearly in far less time and using far fewer words.

The secret is brevity.  Not terseness.  Just the use of short, sharp punchy sound bites to make your point in a crisp, memorable way.

There are tricks to achieve this.  For a start, break long sentences up into shorter ones.  Then try and split those up wherever possible.  These breaks should be created at a convenient place to breathe (and pause for effect) when you are speaking.

Like this …

… and this …

… and, most importantly …

… like this.

Secondly, try to avoid convoluted ways of explaining something simple.  For example:

“The problem with playing three centre forwards is that each forward is based in the attacking third of the pitch which can leave a massive gap in midfield to be filled by less players, meaning that the defence gets pulled out of shape.”

Could be changed to:

“Selecting three forwards can leave holes behind them in midfield …

… that defenders are forced to cover.”

Thirdly, read your sentence out loud after you have written them.  You may find that what looks good on the page, doesn’t sound so good when you hear it.

Finally, remember this sad fact (it’s actually an estimate):

A day after you have spoken, few of your audience will remember your key message, fewer still will have remembered your second message, and only a handful will remember more than one example you highlighted.

So see if you can compact a twenty minute speech into fifteen, and don’t worry about being too brief.

Please feel free to call me on +44 20 8245 8999 to discuss the impact of your speech or presentation in more detail.  Best wishes, Lawrence

How to write a great speech: ORIGINALITY

My previous blog piece focused on relevance.

But although being relevant will help you convince your audience to listen for a while, it isn’t enough on its own to hook them in.   And so once you have decided what your key message is going to be, you need to wrap it in an original way.

Don’t worry.  This doesn’t mean you need to wear a bizarre costume, Morris dance  or sing.  But whatever the event at which you are speaking, you need to convince your audience that they are going to learn something new from you.  And the best way to do that is to communicate a little differently.

There’s obviously a catch here.  If I give you an original idea then it will immediately cease to be original.  But I can give three examples of people who have managed to present relevant ideas in ways that have really made an impact on the audiences concerned.

Like the energy consultant who flew off to a meeting in Cape Town last April and linked the various elements of a new technology his firm had launched to the preparations for the Royal Wedding.  This enabled the less technical members of the audience to enjoy the speech and understand his role.  He was congratulated the following day on being the most impressive speaker at that year’s conference.

Then there’s the example of the accountant given fifteen minutes to speak on the difference between tax evasion and avoidance.  This is obviously a technical issues with major consequences.  Avoidance leaves more money sitting in your personal account.  Evasion gains you a stretch behind bars.  And so she started by telling a story about life in Ford Open prison.  Her audience were captivated.  And their interest grew when she explained that was exactly what they could be facing if they failed to listen to some of the finer details that were to follow.

Finally, there was a father-of-the-bride at a wedding.  His speech was relevant enough, but it just lacked a little bite.  Until he mentioned that his daughter had spent the first twenty years of her life obsessed with the musical Grease.  As a result, he wove together the key stories and characters from her life using song titles and lyrics sung by John Travolta and Olivia Newton John.  The following week he and his wife started receiving thank you letters for the wedding.  And the vast majority referred to his speech as being the best they had ever heard.

These examples are obviously pretty random.  There is, sadly, no formula for originality.  It disappears the minute you try to adhere to a template.  And that’s why every speech we write at Great Speech Writing begins on a blank piece of paper.

But if you can combine a relevant approach with an original way of communicating the message then you are on well on track.

Please feel free to call me on +44 20 8245 8999 to discuss the impact of your speech or presentation in more detail.  Best wishes, Lawrence

Writing your Groom speech

The date is set, the venue booked, invitations are out, the stag weekend in the diary. Just the small matter of a speech to write. All my general speech-writing advice found elsewhere on the site still applies, but here are ten more specific tips to ensure that it goes as smoothly as possible:

Keep it original. It’s fine to include the odd predictable line (‘my wife and I’ for instance), but don’t go overboard or your speech will sound like an internet cut and paste. It’s better to sacrifice humour for originality than the other way round.

Thank your new in-laws (particularly if they are hosting the wedding). Your bride might not get the opportunity to thank them publically for all they’ve done for her, so it’s up to you to do it on her behalf – and they’ll love you for it.

Mention your own parents.  And not just for contributing the flowers.  Looking back over decades of parenting, it is unlikely that their contribution to the wedding is actually their finest moment.  Thank them for lifts to school when you were ten, freezing afternoons on the side of a muddy sports field watching you make a fool of yourself, or for helping you learn to drive; anything that demonstrates the love and support they have provided for so long.  Unless they haven’t of course.

Don’t forget this is a celebration of love. It isn’t an opportunity for a ten minute comedy stand up routine, so try to balance your hilarious one-liners with a good dollop of sincerity. What is it about your wife that you love? How has your life changed (for the better!) since she’s been in it? Which of your bad habits does she have to put up with? Most importantly, make your guests feel that they have sacrificed an entire day of their lives (with all the associated costs) for a damn good reason.

Don’t spend more time building up the Best Man than the Bride.  Although it’s nice to reference the Best Man and poke a bit of fun at him, remember that your wedding day is about your relationship with your Bride not your best mate.  I jest not.  I receive countless drafts by email where the bride appears to be no more than an excuse to have had a damn good stag do.

She’s your ‘wife’ so feel free to mention it! Nothing gets more of heart-warming cheer than the line “my wife and I…”. Yes it’s predicable and a little bit cheesy, but the novelty of hearing it for the first time never fails to please your new bride, or your guests for that matter. And that cheer will relax a nervous speaker no end.

Mention how she looks. Beautiful, gorgeous, stunning …. however you chose to say it, make sure you remark on her appearance. This is a once in a life time opportunity to tell your wife in front of a large collection of your friends and family that you fancy her.  Unless you don’t.  And even then, this is probably the one time in your life that it’s worth lying through your teeth.

Leave out the ex-girlfriends. However ‘relaxed’ your wife is about your past, there’s a time and a place for referencing the exes and the Groom’s speech isn’t one of them.  I’m a big believer in a speech ‘riskometer’ where anything that could cause offence to anyone is edited out at source.

Talk to her. The more sincere elements of your speech may be far more powerful and personal if, when you’re talking about your wife, you actually look at and make eye contact with her. And address her as ‘you’ rather than ‘she’.

Liaise with her Dad.  Assuming he is speaking before you, it’s worth checking that you are not going to be duplicating too many thanks or anecdotes about your bride, how you met, or the proposal.

And if you’re still not feeling particularly comfortable, then please let me know and I’ll write it for you!

Conference Speeches 2011: Who won?

Great Speech Writing has watched, scribbled and squirmed throughout the 2011 Party Conference season with a particularly keen eye on the peformance of the three party leaders.
Here’s the post mortem.

Content – The good, the bad and the ugly

Clegg
Good – A speech that flowed well, linked seamlessly from topic to topic, and led with the clear message that this is a time for Liberals, not extremists.
Bad – The constant bleating that ‘We’re doing a lot really well. But we keep forgetting to tell anyone about it. So we keep losing.’ sounded a little too much like a schoolboy explaining his duff end-of-term report to his parents.
Ugly – the lurking fear that style is defeating substance

Milliband
Good – A simple narrative written in compelling sound-bites, many of which read better on paper than they actually sounded. Clear on being pro-business, and drew clear line between Tory and Labour economic policy.
Bad – 60 words didn’t seem quite enough to cover the party’s entire foreign policy (and over 50 of those were targeted at our troops).
Ugly – At Great Speech Writing we write many Groom speeches, and there was a horrible moment when we worried that Ed had picked up the wrong script. Surely the time had passed to tell Mrs M in public that he adored her. Even more worrying was when he seemed to be admitting to a serious crush on Harriet Harman.

Cameron
Good – Seamless links from subject to subject and a running theme of leadership that worked from a speech perspective. Cleverly briefed the media 24 hours earlier than usual to ensure that Boris’ speech was overshadowed.
Bad – Never a great idea to back-track on the content you’ve leaked on the morning of the speech.
Ugly: “I lead to unleash your leadership”. Not quite Disraeli. Or even Ian Duncan Smith.

Relevance

The key to any great speech is to decide who it is targeted at and to pitch right at them.
Cameron spoke to the outside world via the hall – and appeared Prime Ministerial in the process. Clegg addressed the hall, talked directly to his audience and even thanked them for listening. It worked.
Milliband got very confused. At times he was speaking to the conference. At others to the country when his style was more party political broadcast. And at one stage he just got completely confused by looking at the audience and saying: “I believe in my conversations with you the British people I am determined we restore your trust in us on the economy”. Agghhh!

Those mixed-metaphors in a nutshell (with no armbands)

Nick Clegg – “Don’t apologise because we’ve all opened a door to enable our stick of rock to punch above its weight. But it’s not a walk in the environmentally friendly park full of predators.”
Ed Milliband – “I’m not interested in consolation prizes so we’re going to rip up the old set of rules, which were built on sand under a safety net full of holes, to create a new bargain and write a new chapter.
David Cameron – “The world’s a mess but under my leadership we’ll turn the British ship round by laying strong foundations to bail out the last Labour government with armbands off.”

Originality

Cameron wasn’t. Milliband tried to be. At times Clegg actually was. He managed to sound honest, regretful and upbeat all at once. And which other party leader has ever talked for so long about being disliked? He may also be the first to re-package a quote from a footballer (Roy Keane’s prawn sandwiches).

The love-in

Cameron was obviously keen not to antagonise his friend Nick, and even used the phrase “Nick Clegg and I” which harked back to the golden days of the Leadership Debate and Gordon’s plaintive “I agree with Nick”.
In fact, Cameron fell so solidly into line with Nick that he didn’t just cut and paste his attack on Labour’s economic policy, but also used some very similar adjectives to describe British values.
And to top it all, he even borrowed Nick’s tie.
There wasn’t much love for Ed – but he gave it out in bucket-loads to his wife, Ed Balls, Harriet Harman and the NHS.

Memorable sound-bites

Clegg – From the good: “We are in nobody’s pocket” and “From the easy promises of opposition to the invidious choices of government” to the meaningless: “Our home, our children, our future” to the Partridge-esque: “Masters of the universe became masters of destruction” (the latter met by a notable dearth of applause).
Milliband – The speech was one rolling-sound-bite including: “I’m my own man”, “He betrayed your trust”, “You can’t trust the Tories on the National Health Service” and “Producers versus the predators”. The latter was one of many examples of EM trying to create a distinct ‘good and evil’ feel to the political landscape. And that worked.
Cameron – Light, airy and safe phrases including: “We can turn this ship around”, “We’re going to get Britain back to work” and “our new economy”. “Leadership” was obviously his key theme and word. One half expected him to raise a glove Gary Glitter style, chanting that he was the leader of the gang. Cameron was also keen to appear as international as possible, bouncing from continent to continent in a way that’s only really possible during the draw for the World Cup Finals.

Balance between humour and sincerity

It is vital to create the right balance, but only if the humour works. And most of it was lame.
Clegg was the best, realising that this was a party conference and not an audition for the Comedy Store. His persecution complex lines were good (inspired by Woody Allen?) but he undermined them slightly with one-too-many sycophantic references to conference darling Paddy Ashdown (fast becoming the Liberal Lady T).
Milliband began with a stand-up routine that moved swiftly from brother jokes to “Ed nose day”. But things got even worse with the inevitable Blair-esque popular culture reference: ”The computer says no”. Only a few years too late there Ed. He did make a good quip about Clegg not keeping his promises, but all-in-all there were many too many weak jokes.
Cameron was a disappointment here. Rather than settling for a couple of sharp one-liners, he tried the scatter-gun approach which left him a gap of less than twenty seconds between joking about Boris and “The Joy of … Cycling” (ho ho) to Colonel Gadaffi providing the IRA with semtex (which wasn’t a joke at all but threatened to be). The low-point was the crack about diabetics in the EU. Nope, still not funny.

Predecessors

Clegg dropped-in Gladstone after 5 mins and Ashdown wherever possible. But didn’t mention Ming Campbell. Funny that.
Milliband mentioned Kinnock before he’d drawn breath, and Blair and Brown soon afterwards . To a mixed reaction.
Cameron waited 37 minutess before reeling off a list including Lady T. And that pleased the conference so much, he mentioned her again thirty seconds later.

Delivery

As clients of Great Speech Writing are well aware, great content is useless without great delivery.
Great delivery means a well paced speech, demonstrating appropriate levels of energy and emotion, and ongoing eye contact with the audience.

Clegg – was the only leader who sounded passionate and appeared to mean it. His body language was a throw back to that first leadership debate – with good movement of the arms helped by a transparent podium that opened him up to the audience.
His long pause for a sip of water after five minutes energised him (was it vodka?), and stepping away from the podium was something only he did – and something that served the dual purpose of making him look relaxed whilst breaking up the monotony of a forty five minute speech.
Interestingly, he spent much time looking to those ahead of him and to his left – but rarely glanced right. Read into that what you will. Perhaps he had cricked his neck?

Milliband – is, sadly, not a born communicator. He has been well trained and spoke slowly and methodically, but he still seems unable to emphasise the right words. This can ruin potentially bold and passionate remarks. Take, for example, his confusing execution of the punch-line “Don’t mess with Rupert Murdoch”, after which we feared that he was about to burst out crying.
Despite his claims that the nose op’ was a success, the nasal whine is still an issue, making his cries for action sound akin to a schoolboy pleading with his teacher for more homework.
Unlike Clegg, his sips of water leave much room for improvement, looking as they do like he is auditioning for a future role playing Mr Bean.

Cameron remains the master of delivery. He decided to present himself as a leader and carried it off. Great eye contact despite the layers of make-up, great movement of the hands and effortless gravitas. His comic pauses were all well-timed despite some appalling material, and he appeared to be in complete command of his material and his audience.

Conclusions

Ten years have passed since Tony Blair’s ‘kaleidoscope’ speech after 9/11 – the greatest conference speech of the past twenty years.
In that time, a new generation of party leaders has emerged. And they share many similarities – from their age and worrying lack of stubble, to their centralist messages and carefully stage-managed performances.
In practise there was not a huge amount to choose between them, but Nick Clegg exceeded expectations and it is always hard for Cameron to live up to his. Milliband’s public speaking record means that he can easily outperform his benchmark, but his delivery still sits far behind the other two.
None of these speeches was exceptional. None will be remembered in ten years time. But casting the politics aside, we have Clegg’s content and delivery ahead of Cameron by a short head.

But if the leaders’ failed to shine particularly brightly, then who did?
Balls versus Osbourne remains the most fascinating duel in British politics. Both value substance over style, and both are genuine heavyweights. Balls will never charm a crowd like any of the party leaders, but his speech was well-written, clear and powerful.
Boris entertained in his unique style, and remains alone in his willingness to be original and break the rules.
Of the younger generation, Labour’s Rory Weal stole the show, winning a gold star for his passion and bravery, and a detention for hackneyed content.
Perhaps he is destined to be the next William Hague – a party conference veteran who is undoubtedly the most devastatingly effective and accomplished public speaker in Westminster. The way he brought to life the graveyard slot at the start of the conference was a lesson to us all.
He may well take us back to the future by becoming the next leader of the party. Other prospective candidates for centre stage include the effective Yvette Cooper and two outside hopefuls in Jeremy Hunt and Jim Murphy- both tall men prowling the stage without notes. Where can they have got that idea from?
Finally, let’s not forget that George Osbourne gave a strong speech that was overshadowed by the freeing of Amanda Knox. And the Prime Minister was knocked-off the front pages by Steve Jobs. There’s no cure for bad timing.
Whilst Theresa May remembered the importance of getting your facts right.

To conclude, it isn’t only politics converging into the centre ground. Speechwriters and coaches are too. We all yearn for the conference speeches of yore, given by politicians with the conviction, imagination and passion to step away from the consultancy template and daring to be original.

Who to thank in your wedding speech

It is no secret that every speaker at a wedding will have people to thank.  And I am asked regularly to suggest who should be thanked, by whom, and how best to word them.

The biggest issue in many cases is ‘listing’.  The thanks can be endless, suffocating the speech and bearing the wrong sort of comparisons with the worst Oscar acceptances.

The best speeches weave the necessary ‘thanking’ around their more creative elements so the audience hardly realise you’re running through a list at all. Here’s a quick summary of the key ‘thanks’ that should be included if yours is a standard wedding with a relatively orthodox set of speeches.

The Father of the Bride Speech

1. The guests – particularly those who’ve travelled a long way 
2. Your wife – for organising the day/ bringing up your daughter/ putting up with you!
3. You may also want to mention your other children, the vicar or equivalent and any friends who have helped with the organisation of the day

The Groom Speech

1. The Father of the Bride for his speech (and kind words about you if appropriate)
2. The guests (ensuring it ties in with what your father-in-law has said)
3. Your new-in-laws for producing your wife!
4. Your Bride – for saying yes!
5. Your own family
6. Any elderly or ‘special’ guests
7. The Best Man and Ushers
8. The Bridesmaids

Your list may overlap with the Father of the Bride, so it is worth trying to share them between you.  You may also want to mention guests who can’t be there and thank anyone from the wedding planner to the flower arranger (although I suggest that you restrict your thanks to volunteers rather than paid professionals – including your speech writer!)

The Best Man Speech

  1. Your hosts
  2. The Groom (for asking you to be his best man/for being a good mate)

This list is short and sweet. Yours is the speech with most room for creativity and fun and less need for thanks.  Your role is to provide amusement rather than sincerity.  However, it is still worth checking with the Groom that he doesn’t want you to take any of them off his plate.  This can be particularly useful if there is a thank you that will tip him over the edge!That’s the high level summary.  Please don’t assume anything and always check with the other speakers that you are not going to cover the same ground.  Good luck, and please feel free to call me at any time if you’d like some help turning your ‘tick list’ of thank yous into something that resembles an entertaining speech rather than a school register.

Lawrence

Dos and Dont’s for your Groom Speech

The wedding ‘season’  is coming to an end, but I have had a flurry of enquiries about Groom speeches over the past few days.  Every Groom requires a different approach. And every speaker has a different style. But these tips will be relevant to most Grooms.  I hope you find them useful.

A Groom SHOULD

  1. Thank your guests for attending, particularly those who have travelled from far and wide
  2. Mention any special guests (i.e. elderly relatives)
  3. Thank your new in-laws (particularly if they are hosting the wedding)
  4. Mention your own parents – this is an opportunity to thank them for all those years of help and support
  5. Talk about the Bride, in a way that balances warmth with a little bit of humour
  6. Introduce the Best Man
  7. Finish with a toast to the Bridesmaids

A Groom SHOULD NOT

  1. Spend more time building up the Best Man than the Bride
  2. Waste too much time thanking people who’ve been paid to do a job (e.g. caterers or planners)
  3. List so many ‘Thank yous’ that the speech resembles a school register
  4. Talk for too long. Generally I recommend 10 minutes as an optimum speaking time
  5. Forget this is a celebration of love, not an opportunity for a 10 minute comedy stand up routine

A Groom MIGHT ALSO want to mention

  1. Any friends or family who have made huge efforts in organising the day
  2. Flower girls and page boys
  3. Those who are not able to be there on the day
  4. The ushers
  5. A relative/close friend who has been a particular source of strength to the Groom over the years
  6. The Vicar/Priest/Rabbi or whoever conducts the ceremony

The balance between sincerity and humour is a difficult one for the Groom. The hardest task is to fit so much in to such a short space of time. The ultimate objective is to weave all these together in an original, memorable way. If you do have any concerns about your own speech, I would be delighted to chat, edit your draft or even write it for you.

Best wishes

Lawrence

Wedding Speech Etiquette

I’m asked regularly:

a) who speaks when at a wedding; and
b) who needs to say what in their wedding speech?

As you’ll read elsewhere on the site, I suggest planning your speech around the ‘must haves’ and the ‘might haves’.  The list below focuses solely on the ‘must haves’.
Many wedding speeches fall foul of ‘listing’, where you subject the audience to a never-ending barrage of sincere thankyous.  The best speeches weave these ‘must haves’ around their more creative elements and so you hardly realise that they are running through a list at all.
Here’s a quick reminder of the things that you will probably need to include if it’s a standard wedding with an orthodox set of speeches.

The Father of the Bride Speech

(creative input focuses mainly on the Bride and her new husband)
1. Welcome the guests
2. Welcome your new family
3. Mention your wife
4. Mention guests who cannot be there
5. Toast the Bride and Groom
You may also want to mention your other children, the vicar or equivalent, any friends who have helped with the organisation (including the flowers) and people who have travelled a long way.

The Groom Speech

(creative input focuses mainly on the Bride)
1. Thank the Father of the Bride
2. Thank the guests
3. Mention the new-in-laws
4. Mention your own family
5. Mention any particularly elderly or ‘special’ guests
6. Thank the Best Man and ushers
7. Toast the Bridesmaids
Your thankyous may overlap with the Father of the Bride and so it is worth trying to share them between you.  You may also want to mention guests who can’t be there and thank anyone from the wedding planner to the flower arranger (although I suggest that you restrict your thankyous to volunteers)

The Best Man Speech

(creative input focuses mainly on the Groom)
1. Read any telegrams
2. Respond to toast on behalf of bridesmaids
3. Thank your hosts
4. Toast the Bride and Groom
This list is short and sweet and yours is the speech with most room for creativity and fun.  However, it is still worth checking with the groom that he doesn’t want you to take any of the ‘must haves’ off his plate.

That’s the high level summary.  Please don’t assume anything and always check with the others that you are not going to cover the same ground.  Good luck, and please feel free to call me at any time if you’d like more detailed advice or help putting it all together.

Only relevant to wedding speeches

Are you preparing a wedding speech and wondering what to say?

I have developed three questionnaires to help the traditional speakers prepare the content that they might want to weave into their speech.  My clients often use one of these to prepare for our first meeting.

I’m afraid that they are not templates for creating your speech, simply a way of pulling together all the information that may become useful.

So if you have had trouble getting through to me on the phone and want to get going, then please start here:

Best Man Speech Questionnaire

Father of the Bride Speech Questionnaire

Groom Speech Questionnaire

National Wedding Show at Olympia, October 2009

If you happen to be visiting the show,  I will be there for all three days giving free speech-related advice to anyone who asks!  If you read this beforehand, please drop me an email and we can arrange a specific time to meet.