“I was really happy with the speech. It went down very well and everyone was very impressed! You did a great job.” – Yasir K.
With Muslims being buried so quickly after the death, there is little time to collect one’s thoughts for a eulogy. The speaker is often in shock, and the emotions raw.
The Arbayeen allows some time for preparation and reflection. The first place to start is by gathering information. Hopefully you are marking the end of a long life, and it is important to have all the facts before you begin a draft speech.
We have developed a bunch of questions for this purpose and are delighted to send them to you (whether or not you intend to use us to write or edit your draft). Please let us know if you’d like us to email them through.
Once you have a wealth of information to work with, you will want to consider:
- The balance you wish to create between humour and sincerity in your speech. Ideally you do not go to extremes, but create a light and amusing memory, peppered with nostalgia and sadness.
- The theme at the very heart of your words. This is vital. Rather than just running through the life of the deceased in chronological order, it can be brilliant to link the various stories and memories to something that meant most to them. When we have written for Arbayeens in the past, themes have included the love of a particular country, the game of cricket and the world of business. These were the things that meant most to the deceased, and, as a result, they bring the facts to life.
- Religious references. This is clearly a very personal decision, but it is vital that it is relevant to the deceased and the guests. Too much can turn some people off. Too little can be offensive. We can discuss this in more detail.
Other considerations include the length of speech, the best way to cope with emotion while you deliver it, and how to decide what not to include.
We are happy to discuss all this with you, to look at a draft you have attempted, or to help you start the entire process from scratch. We can work at short notice should this be necessary.
“Fantastic! Although it was still emotional, it was great to have some levity. Some parts really cracked us up! We are really pleased. Thank you.” – Marukh H.