So, who gives the speeches at a same sex wedding? A simple question, but one we are asked on a weekly basis!
The good news is that there is no ‘correct’ answer. There are no laboured Victorian conventions to adhere to. And although that might require a bit of head-scratching from the happy couple, it is also a fantastic opportunity to hear speeches from the friends and family who mean most to you.
A Golden Opportunity
Most wedding traditions were enshrined in a very different time. The speeches are no exception. The absence of female speakers at most straight weddings casts us back to less enlightened times.
So the beauty of gay weddings is that that the rule book has already been torn up (the official tearing taking place in 2013). Which gives you the chance to write your own rules.
Who gives the father of the bride speech when there are two brides? Or none at all? Does only one of the grooms choose a best man? Or both? Why should it be a man in the first place? The very notion that the groom’s best mate must be a bloke is heteronormative, to say the least!
In the spirit of equality, an alternative is to ask one parent on each side to give a speech. Another option is to ask your parents to do a joint speech. Or not. You’ll know best. And we’ve written for them all. And when it comes to the Best Man, you might want to avoid gendering the role at all, and refer to them as the Best Mate. Or the best Non-Gender-Specific-Individual (as one of our clients requested recently).
Writing the Speech
A wedding speech is a wedding speech. Whether there are two dresses on the big day, or none at all, that doesn’t change things. When it comes to crafting the speech, the approach remains the same. After all, weddings are about two people celebrating their love. And so their speech should be about finding the best balance between humour and sincerity, and making it relevant and enjoyable for everyone in the room. In fact, the only differences in how we approach writing a wedding speech for a same-sex couple are the pronouns!
How we can help
Whatever your role at the wedding: groom, bride, friend or relative, we would be delighted to write you a brilliant speech for the big day, giving you the chance to relax, confident in the material you’re about to deliver.
If you’d like to know more, feel free to call Seb right now on 020 8245 8999.