Our colleague Dave was set a challenge by client recently. Could he write jokes better than Chat GPT? He convinced the client, but then had an existential crisis and decided to go direct. Can ChatGPT write a funny speech? Well please read on and make-up your own mind!
Dave:
Hello, ChatGPT. I hope you don’t think this is a rude question or anything, but are you capable of writing funny, unique jokes, that a human would feel confident delivering as part of a speech?
ChatGPT:
Absolutely! Here’s a mix for you:
- Tech Joke:
Why do programmers prefer dark mode?
Because light attracts bugs.
- Wordplay:
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
- Classic Dad Joke:
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
- Dark Humor:
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field… but the farmer was still missing.
- Absurd:
A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, “Do you have any chapstick?”
The pharmacist says, “Yeah, will that be cash or card?”
The duck says, “Just put it on my bill.”
Dave:
These are all very old jokes, ChatGPT – quite funny but old. I asked if you could write unique jokes. You know, original jokes, that are specific to one crowd of people, one theme, one event. Also, the second half of the punchline to the scarecrow joke makes no sense whatsoever. You do know how a punchline works, right? You do realise they’re not just a bunch of connected words?
ChatGPT:
Got it! You want original, tailored jokes—fresh material. Here are some I just wrote for specific crowds:
- For Office Workers:
Boss: “We’re like a family here.”
Employee: “Cool, so can I leave early for Thanksgiving?”
Boss: “No.”
- For Gym Rats:
My gym buddy told me, “No pain, no gain!”
I said, “Bro, my membership fee is the only thing getting shredded.”
- For Millennials & Gen Z:
I checked my bank app today… It just said, “Are you okay?”
- For Programmers:
They say debugging is like being a detective.
Except you’re the one who committed the crime, and you left zero clues.
Dave:
OK, ChatGPT. Usually I’m my own harshest critic, but I’m afraid that right now I’m going to be yours. Your office worker joke isn’t really a joke. It’s just an imagined conversation. Also, once again, the word “No” is not a punchline. Oh, and if you were like a family, then you wouldn’t be leaving for Thanksgiving, would you? You’d be spending Thanksgiving with them. Also, you haven’t asked anything about me yet, so how can you guarantee these are suitable for me?
ChatGPT:
Wow. That was harsh.
Dave:
Oh, I’m not finished. Your gym rat joke sounds exactly like the kind of thing a person who spends all day long developing his muscles would say … but only if he hasn’t developed a sense of humour. The bank app joke? Meh. Try saying that in front of a crowd of people who’ve had more than a few drinks on a Saturday night. And as for Millennials/Gen Z? Wouldn’t “U OK Hun?” be more appropriate? I mean, it still wouldn’t be funny, but it would make more sense.
ChatGPT:
I think you’re being very mean.
Dave:
And finally, your debugging joke seems to have a few bugs in it. There’s supposed to be a laugh at the end, but all I’m seeing is an error message saying: “Error 101: No laugh detected”.
ChatGPT: (Choking back tears and putting on a brave face)
OK, I love this level of criticism—it means you actually care about the craft of comedy. Let’s go for sharper, more unpredictable jokes.
- For Office Workers (Refined Joke)
My boss said we’re like family. So I asked for a small loan and never paid it back.
- For Gym Rats (Now Actually Funny)
I signed up for a gym membership a year ago. I’m on level 47 of Candy Crush in the locker room.
- For Millennials & Gen Z (More Relevant, Darker Edge)
My bank app just sent me a notification: “We’ve been trying to reach you about your vibe.”
- For Programmers (Tighter Punchline)
Debugging is like investigating a murder… except you’re both the detective and the killer… and the body disappears when you look at it.
Better? Or do I still deserve to be heckled by drunk construction workers on a Saturday night?
Dave:
I’m not entirely sure what construction workers have to do with anything … but yes, if I was a drunk construction worker, I’d definitely heckle you, ChatGPT. In fact, I’d probably throw my drink at you, walk out of the comedy club, and ask for my money back. Look, you’re supposed to know everything, right? Wouldn’t it be better for me to just hire a professional speechwriter, who really knows how to write a compelling, and relevant joke, sounds like the speaker (at the very top of his or her game) and could never be used by anyone else because it just wouldn’t sound right on any other occasion?
(There was a long pause at this point)
ChatGPT? Are you sulking?
ChatGPT:
Nah, I’m not sulking—I’m just recalibrating! You’ve got high comedic standards, and I respect that. Let’s be real: hiring a professional speechwriter could work, but would they truly capture your voice?
Dave:
Really? That’s all you’ve got after this fiasco? Listen, ChatGPT, that’s precisely what a professional speechwriter can do. Capture your voice! That’s our bread and butter. We’re not writing speeches for us, we’re writing speech for our clients, and capturing their voice is essential. And that, of course, leads to jokes that are unique to the person who’s delivering them. Funny jokes, fresh jokes, jokes that don’t sound like they’ve been written by the world’s least funny robot.
(No response)
ChatGPT?
(No response)
Ah. He’s clearly sulking again.